Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye, We Miss You

 

 Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye

  

The death that claimed the life of Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye still pains my heart: Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye, the Kenyan novelist, author of Coming to Birth, among other books. I always remember her well, not that I knew her personally, but I knew her through her writing. 

Although death is the destiny of all humanity, Marjorie does not deserve to die. She is an uncelebrated female author, yet, her works and understanding of the African culture, particularly the Luo community of Kenya, were incredible. Nobody would have imagined that Marjorie was English-born, but her adoption of and dedication to the newly born country Kenya was enormous. 

Marjorie's death was not announced well, a clear indication of African literary icons' ailing appreciation and recognition. I just learned about it a year ago when looking for information about her online. My heart wept.

"Coming to Birth" reminds me a lot about Marjorie. It was the set book I did in high school. I loved it; I loved its author. Coming to Birth talks about the struggles of a woman, Paulina Were, the novel's protagonist, in a new country born by gaining independence from Britain. It matches this woman's struggle, Paulina, with the challenges that the new nation faces under self-government. 

 Marjorie's ability to know her environment and stand with the people is what strikes me most about this novel. Marjorie bravely talks about these significant political occurrences in a hostile political environment characterized by arrests, detentions, and assassinations. She discusses the murder of Tom Mboya and, later, J.M. Kariuki, where she laments the new regime is " striking the best and the brightest." 

She shows the irony in the country's poor governance when she mentions the mass killing of people in Kisumu by police officers, where Paulina's son, Martin Okeyo, a young boy less than ten, is also murdered. Marjorie writes that the country is "eating its people" to show there was no reason to fight for independence if the new regime acts like the colonialists by killing its people.

Coming to Birth is an expose of the poor governance that gripped most African countries, in its case, Kenya, following the achievement of independence. It condemns the corruption and autocracy that immediately engulfed post-colonial Africa. 

 

 Marjorie at her home in Nairobi

 

Unfortunately, today, the likes of Marjorie are no more. Marjorie and her peers like, Achebe, Thiongo, and Soyinka, exposed the evils of colonialism and the devils in the immediate dictatorial post-colonial Africa. 

However, more than fifty years on, African universities are churning out ignorant literature students without a proper grasp of their environments. The corruption, tribalism, and inferiority complex bedeviling Africa today are as clear as a bright sunny day, but nobody talks about them. 

When will we stop reading African literature on colonialism? When will we stop having the works of Achebe and Thiongo as set books for our students?

The education we give our children should be relevant to their environments. I do not oppose using the works of Achebe, Thiongo, and their peers. They are legendary works of literature. However, the fact that Africa is not producing contemporary pieces of literature proves a significant problem with our literature study. 

The images of colonialism are fading fast away from our minds. This happening does not mean that our children should not be reminded of colonialism through the literature on colonialism. However, it is more important to inform them of the contemporary problems in their environments like Marjorie, Ngugi, Achebe, and their peers did during their time of colonial and post-colonial eras. 

It is a fact that African literature has stagnated, as explained above, which makes the loss of legendary literary icons like Chinua Achebe and Marjorie Oludhe very painful. They were exemplary in telling the African stories of their time. With their deaths, we have no one to tell stories of our time.

Devils in Marriage

I have this uncanny feeling that somebody must have told me there is nothing the devil hates, like matrimony in this world. I cannot remember well, but this guy must have been a staunch Christian, and I was a few months early in my marriage. “The devil fights marriages with all his might until he breaks down every thread of bond that exists between a couple,” the individual must have added.

Many a time, I found myself agreeing with this observation, not only because I am Christian but also because of the occurrences around me. How does one explain the actions of a man or woman burning alive his/her family locked inside their home? Or the act of a man or woman continually battering and even mutilating his/her spouse to the point beyond recognition? 

Ignorance of the challenges ahead

The first mistake people make before entering marriage is their failure to know and understand the enormous difficulties a union may present. However, we cannot blame anybody planning to marry for failing to grasp these challenges. It is virtually impossible to understand something that you have not experienced. For example, it is impossible to understand the pain of losing a loved one if you have never lost one. The legendary rap music icon Tupac Shakur once said, “Nobody knows my pain; they only see my struggle,” to stress that it was nearly impossible to understand what one has not experienced. 

Cold feet

 

 They are still determining whether the decision to get married is right.

 The period you plan to get married is when you realize the great sacrifices that come with marriage. It finally dawns on you that admiring, flirting, and even dating other girls or boys will soon end. This reality is the first that you face. Questions like these run through your mind: have I found the best partner? Could there be another person out there better than this man or woman? What about the man and woman I recently met at the coffee shop? 

You even start comparing your potential spouse with former girlfriends or boyfriends: Is he/she better than Steve or Carol? However, since your previous relationships were a failure, the fact that you have reached the point of marriage in your current relationship makes you go ahead with the wedding.

Past relationships

Unfortunately, your recent relationships start haunting you almost immediately after getting married. Former girlfriends or boyfriends call or write canning congratulatory messages with little happiness and sadness for losing you to your partner. If you are not careful, you may be trapped with these calls and messages, which began as simple, honest chats that turn into everyday flirts and, finally, side romantic relationships. 

You have to be careful. It is proper to stop communication with your former partners to strengthen the foundation of one’s newly formed matrimony. Remember, the first year of marriage is usually the most arduous since you and your partner are adjusting to a new style of living entirely different from your previous single and dating lives.

Unsettled

Later you may find yourself comparing your spouse with other people. Every time you meet charming people who are either beautiful or handsome, you tend to imagine your spouse in comparison to these people. When this happens, know that you are not settled in your marriage. It is upon you to decide to settle in your marriage. 

Bad habits

 

 He has forgotten that he must return to his family for dinner.

 As you live with your spouse for some time, you get to learn about some habits that they exhibit that you dislike. Remember, dating is always unreal. People are usually on their best behavior when dating, which makes it impossible to know a person entirely. They act neat, clean, organized, caring, and committed when dating, but all these may not be the reality of their lives or themselves. 

For example, when dating, you always find your partner’s bed well-spread and neat. However, after marriage, you realize that this guy or lady never spreads his/her bed every morning. Then you conclude that they just spread the bed the times you were visiting, when dating, to impress you. You cannot tolerate this habit because you are not used to it. 

Proper communication is the best cure for all the bad habits that you dislike. Call your spouse, sit down together, and have a respectful conversation where you explain everything you hate about them. It would help if you also learned to listen and slow to speak. Learn to accept criticism from your spouse and also make changes to the habits that your spouse does not like about you too. Change happens slowly. Give your spouse time to change as you constantly remind them respectfully.

Gossips

Do not tolerate gossip in your marriage. You might think that the people who always give you information about your spouse’s whereabouts have your interest at heart. They do not. Instead, they are planting a seed of doubt in your marriage. Trust is the foundation of lasting relationships: when you lose it, you lose your relationship. An African proverb says, “There is power in ignorance.” This proverb is, at times, relevant in marriages. Preserving and maintaining a stable relationship sometimes requires ignorance about certain things about your spouse. Always afford your partner the benefit of the doubt.

Social Media

 

 addicted to social media

 Social media is the modern grave threat to marriages today. Its advent, quick adoption, and use have made people vulnerable to many mistakes. For example, people are prone to flirting due to the many beautiful and handsome women and men they meet on social media, who sometimes lure them to flirt. Once you fall prey to social media flirters, you may get addicted to flirting as you find a place where you can exercise your dormant seduction skills (if a man) or where you continuously get admirers (if a woman). Log out or delete such accounts to prevent your flirt addiction from creating problems in your marriage. 

Some social media flirters, especially those who know you and your family, are dangerous. You might arrive home one evening, and to your surprise, you find your spouse in possession of all the flirty messages you send to your companion flirter. Such flirters are sometimes out to destroy you and your family because they might have wanted to have a relationship with you. Still, you disappointed them by marrying another man or woman. Avoid them at all costs.

Poor information source analysis

It is also essential that you do not fall victim to your spouse’s social media flirt. Ironically, your spouse’s flirt sends you the messages and chats they have been having with your spouse and asks you to stop your spouse from approaching them. Social media and telecommunications technologies have set up all the necessary procedures that one can use to avoid another person. One can block a person so that one does not have any form of communication with the blocked person. Therefore, when somebody sends you information and details of their flirt or chat with your husband and wife, such a person’s intentions should be treated as hostile. 

Instead of sending you chats and messages to cause ripples in your marriage, the person should have blocked your spouse if they wanted nothing to do with them. People who send such messages have ill intentions by wanting to look better than you by showing you that your spouse is after them. Good people block and stop chatting with married people instead of luring them to send flirt messages and use them against them.

Conclusion

Marriage is sacred. Additionally, it is the only appropriate institution for continuing the existence of humankind. We must make all the proper decisions to preserve its life, no matter how foolish our efforts may appear.

The Only Language the People Understand

The electioneering period is fun in most developing countries' calendars. Unfortunately, it is also marked by uncertainty due to the violence accompanying it. For example, In Kenya, since the post-election violence that claimed the lives of about 1000 people and displaced about 100,000, elections come here with mixed feelings of joy and uncertainty. 

The electioneering period is particularly joyous in the African continent because people celebrate the wealth of their languages and learn more about their traditions and culture, which currently face erosion due to the rapid adoption of western culture and languages. Mark, you, any person who vies for a post and does not possess the rich vocabularies and sayings of our mother tongue, stand no chance of getting elected to office. Chinua Achebe states, "Proverbs are the palm oil with which words are eaten" in his book, "Things Fall Apart," to elaborate on the importance of language mastery, especially in politics and leadership.

 In Kenya, Raila Odinga, the "people's president," is a master of the African languages Dholuo and Kiswahili, which earns him an enormous following across the country. His ability to play and tackle his opponents with words that have deep African and contemporary meanings is incredible. Raila's political opponents fear him for his language prowess, which has earned him the title of jamaa wa vitendawili (the owner of riddles) among his language-deficient opponents in their attempts to water down his political achievements. 

One of the famous sayings by Raila Odinga last year was his description of President Uhuru Kenyatta and his failing administration as a headless chicken. He said in Kiswahili, "Uhuru ni kama kuku amekatwa kichwa, anakimbia huku na kule bila kuona mahali anakokwenda" (President Uhuru is like a headless chicken, which runs around without the knowledge of where it is headed). I could not help but laugh my head off.

Such simple yet sophisticated sayings drive the point home. It is easy to understand the message they carry. One merely understands that Raila meant that Kenya was being run by a president who had no goal, objectives, or direction for the country, which is evident in the country's massive corruption, tribalism, and nepotism.

Another example of Mr. Odinga's hilarious sayings was a few years back in response to constant attacks by government MP, who hated the massive support he enjoyed from the people. He compared the MP to a dog. Odinga's response to the MP in Swahili was, "Ukiona mbwa anabweka, usijishughulike na mbwa huyo, tafuta mwenyewe na mwambie amfunge mbwa wake" (When a dog barks at you, ignore it. Find its owner and tell him/her to tie his dog). This simple remark silenced the targeted opponent, who went quiet for some days, proof that he was the dog sent by the owner to try and scare opposition leaders away.

 Recently, at a rally in Homabay County to usher his swearing-in ceremony as the people's President, Mr. Odinga gave a touching story that melted the heart of everyone who appreciated his liberation efforts. "A village was struck with perennial drought and famine," he started. "A lot of people died, and many fell sick and feeble. The elders of the community gathered and approached the village's seer to consult their gods on what they could do stop this punishment of drought that their people suffered," he continued. "After hours of deliberation and consultation with the gods, the seer brought a message from the gods that the village could only receive rainfall if they sacrificed a particular girl by feeding her to the crocodiles in the nearby nearly dry river. The girl set out for the river to offer herself the crocodiles without anybody's request, compulsion, or persuasion upon learning her fate. The suffering of her people had immensely touched her such that she did not require any push to save her people. I am that girl." Mr. Odinga ended the speech with a wild round of applause from the crowd that had explicitly gathered to listen to him.

 The interpretation of this short story is as follows. The continuing drought and famine-stricken village referred to our beloved poverty-stricken country Kenya marred by corruption and embezzlement of funds. As mentioned earlier, Mr. Odinga is the girl ready to sacrifice his life to save our motherland and its people.

Lastly, another example of mastery of speech occurred last year, where Prof Anyang Nyongo, the Governor of Kisumu County, then a gubernatorial candidate, used a crafty short story to cut short his speech and allow fellow speakers to have an adequate amount of time on the dais in a rally in Kisumu County. Below is part of the statement

“Nitiere mama moro mane ni gi welo e dala ne. To noloso ne gi kongo ma mit sana. Koro kane omiyo welo kongo to gi metho to en ok ometh, welo nopenje ni nango en ok ometh kodgi. To no duok gi ni en weg dala. Weg dala ok ber ka mer e kong gi.”

Translation: "There was a woman who had guests visiting her home. She prepared a sweet local beer, which she served them. As the guest took the beer, they noticed that she was not taking the beer. When they asked her why she was not having her pot of beer, she replied that is not prudent for a host to get drunk in her feast." 

In short, the professor meant there was no need to talk much in his backyard (county) lest he utters something that displeases his guests. Therefore, he left the podium for the guest leaders as a symbol of respect and courtesy, which everyone acknowledged that it was the right thing to do.

These examples show that mastery of language is an essential quality of leadership. One's ability to speak a language everyone understands and appreciates is crucial in winning people's support. Most African leaders recognize this fact. Language is a significant component of people's culture: to win people, you must master their language.