Carl Jacobs: A Champion for Individualism in Conflict with Society in "Euphoria" Season 2, Episode 4

 

"Euphoria," the critically acclaimed HBO series, is a masterful exploration of the tumultuous lives of modern adolescents, delving into the complexities of addiction, relationships, and identity. In Season 2, Episode 4, the narrative takes a profound turn as it focuses on the character Carl Jacobs, a symbol of individualism in stark contrast to his family, representing societal norms and expectations.

This pivotal scene, in which Carl enters his home intoxicated and urinates on the floor, serves as a powerful allegory for the clash between the pursuit of personal freedom and the conforming pressures of society.

A Defiant Act of Rebellion: Carl's Urination on His Family's Pride

Carl's audacious urinating on the floor of his family's home in "Euphoria" Season 2, Episode 4, carries profound symbolic weight. This house, built with his sweat and toil, represents the epitome of societal achievement and conformity. However, Carl's act is a stark rejection of the societal norm that places unwavering emphasis on hard work and material success. It serves as a poignant commentary on the potentially hollow nature of relentless ambition.

In this moment, as he relieves himself on what should be his pride, Carl appears to grapple with a sense of regret, realizing that there must be more to life than the relentless pursuit of material success. His act becomes a form of self-inflicted punishment, an acknowledgement of the emptiness that can accompany a life dedicated to work and achievement.

The Bold Rebellion: Carl's Unveiling of the Individual's Power

In a stunning and audacious display of rebellion, Carl's decision to walk with his exposed penis in front of his family in "Euphoria" Season 2, Episode 4, unveils a powerful symbolism. In most societies, exposing one's nakedness, particularly in front of one's children, is seen as taboo, often laden with dire consequences. The biblical reference to Noah and his son serves as a poignant reminder of the historical weight attached to such actions. In many African societies, witnessing a parent's nudity can be considered a curse.

Carl, embodying the essence of individualism, takes a bold step that asserts these norms. He symbolizes that the individual should inherently be greater than the society they inhabit because the individual is the one who creates the society. Just as without the parent, children cannot exist; without the individual, society is void.

Carl's nudity becomes a declaration that the restrictions and expectations society imposes on the individual are a curse to society. A child can never instruct a father, but the father shows the child the way. Thus, society has retarded growth and development because it instructs its parent, the individual, instead of following the parent’s way.

In this act, Carl's defiance mirrors the sentiment found in Eminem's song, "I Am Not Afraid," where he speaks of challenging the universe by pulling out his penis in the dark, a symbolic act of reckoning with life's injustices. Similarly, Carl's audacious stride with his penis exposed can be seen as his way of exacting a form of payback upon society for the ways in which it has constrained, controlled, and perhaps even "messed him up."

Carl's bold actions in this scene are a stark reminder that the individual possesses immense power—the power to challenge societal norms, question established conventions, and assert their right to exist as more than mere cogs in the machinery of society. It underscores the idea that true growth and progress can only be achieved when individuals are unafraid to challenge the status quo, even if it means confronting the uncomfortable and unsettling norms of the world around them.

The Power Play: Carl's Positioning and the Society-Individual Dynamic

In a scene rife with symbolism in "Euphoria" Season 2, Episode 4, the spatial positioning of Carl and his family underscores the intricate power dynamics between society and the individual. This visual representation speaks volumes about this complex relationship's inherent imbalances and struggles.

Carl, embodying the essence of individualism, occupies the lower ground, speaking from a position downstairs while looking up at his family. This arrangement serves as a potent symbol, illustrating the societal construct that places the individual beneath the collective power of society. It suggests that the individual often finds themselves in a subordinate position, accountable to the collective's norms, expectations, and judgments.

Conversely, Carl's family, situated upstairs and looking down at him, symbolizes the overarching power of society in this context. Their elevated position signifies the societal hierarchy that tends to exert control, influence and even judgment over the individual. It reflects the societal structure where conformity is often demanded, and deviation from the established norms can lead to ostracization or marginalization.

This powerful visual representation encapsulates the perpetual struggle between society and the individual. The family's gaze directed downward upon Carl mirrors how society often looks down upon and enforces conformity upon those who dare challenge its norms. The individual, represented by Carl, is left with the choice to conform or face the potential consequences of non-conformity.

In this scene, "Euphoria" masterfully captures our world's intricate power dynamics. It prompts viewers to reflect on the constant negotiation between individuality and societal expectations, where the individual must navigate the ever-present pressure to conform or risk being marginalized by the collective force of society.

Marsha's Outreach and Carl's Defiance: The Symbolism of Society's Response

In the pivotal scene featuring Marsha, Carl's wife, reaching out to him in "Euphoria" Season 2, Episode 4, a complex interplay of symbolism unfolds, shedding light on society's response to the rebellious individual and the individual's defiant stance against societal expectations.

Marsha's reaching out to Carl is a potent symbol of society's attempt to extend a helping hand to a wayward individual, aiming to guide them back towards conformity. Her suggestion that Carl should see a doctor symbolizes how society often judges non-conforming individuals as "sick" or deviant. It reflects society's inclination to pathologize those deviating from established norms.

In response, Carl vehemently protests, asserting that he is "100% fine." This defiant declaration carries profound symbolism, signifying the individual's yearning for autonomy and the belief that self-discovery and self-fulfilment can only be achieved by charting one's path. It underscores the idea that when individuals are allowed to find their way, they have the potential to achieve a sense of self-fulfilment that cannot be attained through conformity alone.

Marsha's response, expressing her fear in response to Carl's defiance, mirrors society's apprehension toward those who challenge the status quo. Society often becomes accustomed to the default norms and is reluctant to accept change, fearing the disruption that may come with it. Just as Marsha is scared by Carl's refusal to conform to societal expectations, society can fear those who seek to redefine or challenge established norms.

In a moment of poignant irony, Carl embraces the derogatory names that society may assign him: "faggot, sexist, pig, creep." While this may initially sound like a form of empowerment, it prophesies society's tactics to eliminate those who refuse to conform. These derogatory labels can become weapons to discredit and marginalize those who question the status quo.

This scene in "Euphoria" masterfully encapsulates the intricate dance between the individual and society. It highlights the struggle of the non-conforming individual, their defiance against societal expectations, and the societal fear of change. It serves as a powerful reminder of the challenges and consequences faced by those who choose to tread their path outside the boundaries set by society.

Carl's Bold Revelation and Society's Unyielding Isolation

In a striking sequence in "Euphoria" Season 2, Episode 4, Carl takes centre stage, fearlessly acknowledging his non-conforming desires and embarking on a journey to reveal the double lives led by his family members. This emotionally charged scene unfolds with powerful symbolism, shedding light on the dynamics between the individual and society.

Carl's unapologetic declaration of his sexual preferences, encompassing men, women, and transsexuals, is a resounding affirmation of his identity. He boldly embraces who he is, refusing to conform to societal norms that attempt to restrict his self-expression. This act symbolizes the individual's relentless quest for authenticity and self-acceptance.

As Carl stands upstairs with his family members, the symbolism of their equal positioning underscores a momentary glimpse of parity between the individual and society. However, his revelations soon take a different turn. Carl begins by confronting his wife, Marsha, about her flirtatious interactions with other men on social media, a breach of the loyalty expected within a marriage. This act of non-conformity by Marsha mirrors Carl's defiance against societal expectations.

In a moment of empathy, Carl tells Marsha that it's acceptable for her to feel loved by someone other than him, extending the same understanding he desires. However, Marsha's response, retreating to her room and locking herself in, symbolizes society's unwillingness to confront its contradictions. It often prefers to hide behind established norms rather than confront the complexities of individuality.

Descending the stairs and sharing his revelations with Erin, Carl's symbolic positioning shifts, signifying the futility of the individual's efforts to find equal footing within an unyielding society. He confesses to Erin watching explicit content on his computer, exposing Erin's double life. However, Carl's demeanour suggests a sense of resignation, as if he knows that his revelations may not alter the course of his familial relationships.

As Carl finally descends the stairs, leaving his family members still positioned upstairs, his comment, "You pushed me to a corner," resonates with the defeat of the individual by society. It symbolizes how the relentless pressures of societal conformity have isolated him, pushing him into a metaphorical corner.

When Carl ultimately leaves the house, it signifies the sad culmination of a non-conforming individual's battle against the unyielding forces of society. He is a symbol of someone who, after relentless pushback, has been effectively eliminated by a society that often struggles to accept those who challenge its established norms.

The Complex Dance of Society and the Individual in "Euphoria"

In the tumultuous world of "Euphoria," Season 2, Episode 4, a profound exploration of the intricate relationship between society and the individual unfolds, weaving a tapestry of symbolism and introspection. This episode's various scenes and moments offer a poignant commentary on the struggle for autonomy, self-identity, and the relentless push and pull between societal expectations and individual desires.

Throughout the episode, Carl Jacobs, embodying the spirit of individualism, becomes the focal point of this intricate dance. His bold defiance of societal norms, symbolized by urinating on his home and openly embracing his non-conforming desires, represents the individual's yearning for autonomy and self-discovery. Carl's actions challenge the status quo and beckon society to confront its contradictions.

Marsha, Carl's wife, and other family members represent society's reactions to non-conformity. Marsha's fear and withdrawal when confronted with Carl's revelations mirror society's reluctance to address its double standards and norms. The episode underscores society's propensity to pathologize non-conforming individuals while ignoring its inconsistencies.

The spatial symbolism of Carl being on equal footing with his family members upstairs, only to descend the stairs as he exposes their hidden lives, is a powerful visual metaphor for the futility of the individual's struggle to find equality within the unyielding embrace of societal norms.

Ultimately, Carl's departure from the house represents the tragic outcome of a non-conforming individual pushed to the margins by a society unwilling to confront its realities. It encapsulates the toll of the relentless battle between the individual and society's expectations.

"Euphoria," in this thought-provoking episode, invites viewers to reflect on the delicate balance between individuality and conformity, offering insights into the challenges and consequences faced by those who dare to challenge the established norms. It reminds us that pursuing personal freedom, identity, and self-discovery can be a lonely and difficult journey in a world where society often demands conformity above all else. The episode serves as a testament to the enduring struggle between the individual and society, leaving us much to ponder about the complexities of this timeless dance.

 

 

 

 

Review of Dreams in a Time of War

In a world directed by economic power and wealth, honest, critical, and dissenting voices that challenge the popular capitalist hegemony are often disparaged and ridiculed. Such are the works of professor Ngugi wa Thiongo, a Kenyan literary icon. His authentic voice on the evils of colonialism and the corrupt neo-colonial Africa has made his books lie in the inaccessible corners of libraries in Kenya and across the globe. Fortunately, passionate readers with a concentrated desire for knowledge find these books that redeem them from ignorance. You learn about the hidden narratives of the African struggle for independence, the unwillingness of brazen colonial powers to face their brutal colonial past, and the true heroes of the African independence struggle.
 "Dreams in a Time of War" is Ngugi's autobiography. Unlike most of his books, which tackle most of the abovementioned themes, "Dreams in a Time of War" depicts how turbulent events affect young, innocent children and how they capture these events and struggle to understand them.
 A Child's State of Confusion
 Landowners to squatters
 A child's state of confusion is the primary theme in "Dreams in a Time of War." Several traumatic events happen in Ngugi's life as a young boy that we only see him trying to process as an adult when writing this piece.
 Ngugi's father, a landowner in Limuru, suddenly becomes a squatter. Their neighbor, an African Catholic Christian convert, grabs their land. There is nothing that Ngugi's father can do to win his land back, yet everyone knows the land belongs to his father. Ngugi does not understand how society cannot solve open land theft straightforwardly. All he hears is that times have changed, and those that possess title deeds are the owners of the land. He chooses not to concern himself with the matter.
 Christianity vs. African Traditional Religion
 Young Ngugi is torn between Christianity and African Traditional Religion. Their neighbor is a Christian (a catholic father). His uncle, his father's eldest brother, their other neighbor, is a staunch believer in traditional African practices. Ngugi's father scoffs at both Christianity and traditional African practices. Thus, Ngugi has the free will to choose his spiritual path. He wanders between the two spiritual paths while failing to pledge allegiance. There is a time he gets baptized and adorns the Christian name "James." There is a time he undergoes the Traditional African rite of circumcision that graduates him from a child to a man. Most of these activities he does since others are doing them.
 African Independent Schools vs. Colonial Government Schools and Missionary Schools
 Ngugi notices a difference in knowledge that teachers provide him depending on the type of school he attends. While at the African independent schools, he can speak his native language, Gikuyu. History teachers also teach them about Mekatiliti of Giriama, Wayaki wa Hinga of Gikuyu, and Koitalel Arap Samoei of the Nandi, African leaders who organized their tribes to repel the British invasion of their country for several years. At government and missionary schools, history teachers talk about Ludwing Kraft, Rebman, and Vasco da Gama, European explorers and colonizers that prepared the way for the invasion of Kenya. When the African independent schools are closed, Ngugi is saddened that his only dream of getting an education is stopped. He only wants an education, so he moves to a colonial government school. His dream as a child is to get an education. That is all that matters to him.
 Family Separations and Divisions
 When Ngugi's family experiences separations and divisions, he does not know whose side he should take. When Ngugi's father chases his mother away from home, Ngugi stays back with his brother. Ngugi knows his father's compound is his home. However, when his father asks him to stop playing with his children (his other siblings), Ngugi leaves with his brother and follows their mother. Ngugi never thought the fight between his parents would reach him, down the family order, and result in his father disowning him.
 During the state of emergency, Ngugi's beloved stepbrother, Wallace, joins the Kenya Land and Freedom Army. He has another stepbrother that works as a police informer that sells the secret of the Kenya Land and Freedom Army. Ngugi also has a stepbrother that fought for the British empire under the King's African Rifles in World War II. He often fears what might happen when these three brothers with different allegiances to the colonial government meet. He cannot decide who is wrong or right in the struggle between freedom and slavery.
 When the colonial government evicts Ngugi's grandmother from her home in Elburgon, she comes to Limuru to stay with them. Ngugi can see apparent strife between mother and daughter (his grandmother and mother). He feels that his grandmother is always stern with his mother. Ngugi's grandmother never appreciates anything her mother does. He knows something is not right but lacks the knowledge and power to solve it.
 A child's Biased Love Towards the Mother
 "Dreams in a Time of War" reveals how children develop biased love towards the present parent, which is usually the mother. Mothers are caregivers in most families. They spend much time with their children and develop strong bonds with them. These bonds of love become so great that they make children elevate their mothers to an angelic, pure, and godly status. Such is the relationship between Ngugi, the character, and his mother. The fact that Ngugi chose to write "Dreams in a Time of War" as a dedication to his mother infers that he would likely be biased.
 Conflict Between Mother and Father
 Ngugi assumes that his father is in the wrong when he fights with his mother. Ngugi assumes that the stresses resulting from his father's loss of wealth and property have driven him to beat his mother. However, there are many background occurrences in this relationship that Ngugi ignores that can cause a couple to fight and even break up.
 Ngugi's mother is a hard-working woman who can force the land to yield. When her husband loses his land, it dramatically affects her too. She no longer has the pride, confidence, and motivation that one gets working on her property. Thus, this loss of land might have contributed to her disputes with her husband since she is uncomfortable with it. Additionally, Ngugi's grandfather (his mother's father) is wealthy, with vast lands and cattle. Most children want to do better than their parents. Thus, her husband's failure to surpass her father in wealth could have caused Ngugi's mother to be upset with him. Ngugi's mother also had a daughter who had fallen in a fire and died of severe burns. Maybe this traumatic incident still haunts both parents and causes them to fight. Finally, Ngugi's father has four wives. Only Ngugi's mother left him. Thus, it is unfair for Ngugi to claim that the heat of financial stresses made his father change; otherwise, the other three wives would have abandoned him too.
 Conflict Between Mother and Grandmother
 Ngugi believes that his grandmother is unappreciative of his mother's effort to care for her. One can gather from the story that when Ngugi's grandmother separated from his grandfather, Ngugi's mother followed his father to Limuru, and her mother remained in Elburgon with Ngugi's aunt. Ngugi's aunt lived with his grandmother taking care of her. It might be that Ngugi's grandmother always held it against Ngugi's mother for choosing Ngugi's grandfather over her. Maybe Ngugi's grandmother resented the great love Ngugi's mother shared with her father (Ngugi's grandfather) that happened to leave her for another woman. Ngugi's grandmother's resentment towards her daughter is quite understandable based on her life experiences.
 Strength in Unity
 "Dreams in a Time of War" stresses the common saying that unity is strength. The book is set in a blustery colonial Kenya where the struggle between freedom and slavery is rife. In such trying times for the oppressed people (Kenyans), unity among the people emerges as the most effective way of ensuring survival and fighting oppression.
 Refuge
 The people of Limuru help Ngugi's family settle there after they come from Murang'a, where they escape pestilence. The people of Limuru are very compassionate and empathetic. They welcome Ngugi's uncle (his father's brother) into their community and give him adequate land to farm and live with his family. Later, when Ngugi's father also moves to Limuru after finding life hard in Nairobi, his brother welcomes him to Limuru. Ngugi's uncle gives his father adequate land to farm and live in with his family. Here, we find two brothers that pestilence forced out of their homes finding refuge and life support in a new community far away from home.
 Domestic Violence
 Ngugi's mothers help one another stop their husband from battering one of them. Ngugi's father beats his wives on rare occasions. During such occasions, the other wives, not facing his wrath, always stop him by making loud cries in the compound to invite people to stop him from beating his victim to a pulp.
 Advancement of Education
 Africans start African independent schools to help meet the educational needs of African children that the colonial government neglects. They start schools like Manguo, where children are taught to be proud of their heritage. Ngugi attends Manguo Primary School. Since African independent schools face staff shortages, Africans build the African Teachers College at Githunguri to train teachers for their schools. When Alliance high school sends Ngugi an admission letter, his half-brothers donate money to raise his tuition fee. Njoki, his sister, buys him a pair of shoes. Here we see a large African population that the colonial government neglects their need for empowerment through education. They come together to start their schools and educate their children.
 Conclusion
 "Dreams in a Time of War" has well captured the puzzles children face growing up. It shows that children react to tempestuous events depending on how grownups react. Children also follow the norms of society to wade through life without trouble. This excellently-written novel also shows that children develop love bias toward the parent who spends a lot of time with them, their caregiver. Children develop a strong bond with the ever-present parent and take her side in any conflict she faces. Moreover, "Dreams in a Time of War" reveals that unity is the only way an oppressed society can redeem itself from the claws of slavery and suffering.
 Besides these solid psychological themes emanating from this simply perfect work, there is evidence of adult bias in the novel. "Dreams in Time of War" is a novel whose prime character is a child (the young Ngugi). However, an adult Ngugi that is experienced, knowledgeable, and decisive has written it. Thus, the novel has lots of logical deductions on the puzzles the young Ngugi face. It would be better had the novel been written by the young Ngugi to portray better his thinking, emotions, and reactions to events.
 Overall, "Dreams in a Time of War" is a significant literary piece worthy of your time. It helps you know the life of the legendary writer Ngugi wa Thiong'o. It also helps one understand a child's psychology. Moreover, it helps you understand the brutal colonial history of Kenya and the ignored participation of Africans in significant world events like World War II. Grab your copy.

Hope Springs: So Watchable

 

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend about her marriage. She told me she had been married for 20 years but wanted out. I tried to talk her back into her marriage, but she seemed adamant. It was hard to fathom that a marriage that had lasted for 20 years could experience great turmoil and get to the brink of collapse. 

Then I came across this 2012 movie titled "Hope Springs." The film is about a couple, Arnold and Kay Soames. They have been married for 37 years and are now on the brink of collapse. 

 The thing that glues me to the movie is that this couple has been married for 37 years, yet their marriage still faces turmoil, just like newlyweds in their second year. If my friend's 20 years of marriage felt like forever, what about 37 years?

 Plot 

Kay and Arnold are two nesters. Since their youngest child went to college, they have slept in separate rooms. It is over five years since they last made love. Kay is unhappy primarily with this setup, while Arnold feels it is okay. Kay takes her savings and pays for a trip to Maine, where she and Arnold are to attend an intense marriage counseling therapy for a week.

 At the start of the therapy, Arnold does not want to attend the sessions. However, as time passes, he gets stuck in it. The therapy makes significant improvements in their intimate lives. They end up saving their marriage and remarrying. There are vital lessons to learn from this movie. 

Importance of Intimacy in Marriage

During my years of study in a health-related course at the university, I learned that sex was one of the basic needs of humans as adults. A few years into marriage, my father advised me of the importance of sex in keeping a marriage. Now, Hope Springs adds significant weight to this observation. Observing this couple, Arnold and Kay, older adults, probably in their fifties or sixties, and seeing how Kay talks about her desire to have Arnold touch her in one of their early therapy sessions is very moving. One wonders how at such advanced ages, people still desire sex. They do, and the lack of it threatens marriages.

This film reveals that sex is essential not just because it fulfills a person's sexual desire but also shows that one admires and is still attracted to their partner. That feeling of attraction and admiration is what brings couples together and keeps them together. This feeling is mainly expressed through sex. For example, when the therapist, Dr. Feld, asks Arnold if he is still attracted to Kay, Arnold says he is. However, later, when the couple tries to make love in front of the fireplace in a luxury inn, Arnold is not aroused enough to go through with it. Kate realizes that Arnold lied to the therapist. She is no longer attractive to him. She decides to leave to pet-sit for a fellow employee. 

Fortunately, the night before she leaves, Arnold makes passionate love to her. That act saves their marriage. They resume a happy and fulfilling intimate relationship that leads them to remarry. 

Men and Women in Relationships

People may say that the movie advances stereotypes about men and women in relationships, but that is the reality of how most men and women are in relationships. Like most men, Arnold is a closed person in this relationship, while Kay is open, like most women. Arnold is okay with the present setup of the marriage. He does not understand why Kay feels a problem with their marriage. He thinks Kay is exaggerating their situation. It is like Kay is petty to him. This attitude later makes Kay tell him that he is a bully.

Arnold goes on a trip to Maine to please his wife and not to solve anything. During therapy sessions, he is unwilling to open up. One notices that Arnold only responds to questions after Kay does. There is a time when he even tells Dr. Feld that he cannot discuss his sex life with a stranger. His unwillingness and inability to talk about issues Kay deems crucial make him appear uncaring and disrespectful towards his wife. There are times when Kay cries because of this. 

On the other hand, Kay is open and willing to talk about anything concerning their relationship. She answers Dr. Feld's questions with ease. After storming out of a session when she feels suffocated by Arnold's bullish attitude, Kay goes to a bar where she informs the bar attendant that she has not had sex for long. One notices how Kay is open to discussing her relationship issues with anyone. She is seeking help anywhere she can get. 

Importance of Third Parties in Marriages 

Most importantly, HopeSprings elaborates on the importance of visiting counselors to help solve relationship problems. This movie shows how couples find it hard to discuss vital issues in marriages that can only be eased with third parties. For example, rarely do people talk about sex and sexual fantasies. In the film, we see Dr. Feld filling this gap in communication by taking this couple through a discussion of sex life and sexual fantasies. We learn that Arnold has had some essential fantasies that he wished Kay would help him achieve. If he were to tell Kay about these fantasies earlier, probably their relationship would have been different and better. Dr. Feld is crucial in helping this older couple solve their marriage problems. He gets them talking about what they love and hate about each other. Dr. Feld helps them pull closer to each other. He helps them save their marriage.

Conclusion

This movie is a perfect illustration of the problems couples face. It shows how men, at times, are usually distant and okay with unfulfilling relationships. It encourages women to pull men closer and not give up on seeking solutions to their unpleasant relationships, as Kay did. It also informs men not to trivialize their partners' issues, as Arnold did to Kay. It encourages them to spare time and discuss every item their partners present. It encourages men to be open and not have a fixed mindset about issues. Couples should save time and watch Hope Springs. I am recommending this movie to my friend I mentioned earlier.

A Letter to My Brothers

Dear brothers,

When you read this letter, I am already in Addis Ababa. Do not worry about me. I am fine and settling down well. I am in a new, focused country with an energetic leader who dares even the Pharaohs over the Nile waters. I am already in the arms of my empathetic lover, Edel, and her beautiful daughter, Beli, eager and ready to start a new life. I am in the country of Menelik II, the most outstanding African emperor who defeated the feared dictator and fascist Mussolini and his Italian armies on our sacred African soil at Adowa. I am in the nation of Gabrielle Selassie, the long-distance track legend. I am in the land of Ras Tafari MacKinnon, the prince and founder of the Ras Tafari religion. Being here reminds me of reggae music; that line, "the system does not cater for me." That is why I have left you, my dear brothers. That is why I have left my beloved daughter Emily back home. I cannot say that about her mother. She deserves my abandonment. It is good I have left her. Otherwise, living with her another second would have killed me.
Brother Manga, it is only you who can understand me. You have lived with these young women of this age. You have seen how torturous it is. You have experienced it all, from them throwing the little hard-earned money you give at your face to the enormous insults projected at you. How does a man bear that? How does a grown-ass man watch and tolerate his ego brought down among neighbours and strangers? I now understand why Kevin beat sister Clare that much. I now know why he had this colossal bat stored under the bed for his wife. People say words don't break bones. But they forget that they break hearts and spirits. You went through this torture Manga and came out alive. I respect you for that. Perhaps, I should also thank the weed you took to kill the stresses women give. I am sorry that Velma turned you, our innocent brother, into a drug abuser.
I know our father is blaming me for my bold move. He thinks of nothing other than his sons getting married and maintaining those relationships. He believes that since he has handled our stubborn mother over the last forty years, we should also have the calmness and tolerance to stay with our mean wives. He told me I should not abandon Tesa because finding a good woman is hard. He stressed that there is no good woman and advised that I should not leave Tesa because it would lead to having multiple women in my life. I am sorry to disappoint him. I have to take my chances and seek the best life possible. The good thing about father is that he is light-hearted. He will soon accept what I have done.
Mother never liked Tesa. However, she is unpredictable. It is hard to say whether she will be happy or sad about my move. I wonder if she will keep staying with Tesa. I am sure she will not be pleased with me being far away from her. She has never liked it when we move out. Do you recall how she quickly brought Manga home when he moved to Migosi? She never likes it when we go for those interviews that promise to take us to the big cities far away from her. I wonder if she knows we are too old to live around her. She may like the idea of me leaving Tesa but not leaving the family. She has got us deeply rooted in her.
Mother hates Tesa's overambition. She hates her desire for the high life, yet she is unwilling to work for it. Recently, she told Dreda that Tesa's frustrations had reversed my development. I am becoming more childish and sluggish. The vibrancy of my youth has ebbed away. I have become like Njoroge, who Ngugi wa Thiong'o describes as an "old young man." Mother knows it. She understands it. She knows how a wife can turn a husband's heaven into hell. Probably, she did the same to our father. You can see how quiet of a man he is. Her daughters do the same to their husbands too. Now, Tesa was there, frustrating me.
Remember, I told you we could not judge Davy for marrying another wife. You can recall how sister Celine used to thrash him. At one time, Celine told us how she climbed on his back and stabbed him there severally with a scissor. Do not forget how she vandalized his car and beat him black and blue one morning. The poor guy collected himself amidst all that shame and reported the incident to the police. I can imagine the embarrassment and derailment he faced from your incompetent officers. Who knows what more action-drama our brother-in-law faces under Celine's domination?
Have you ever wondered how hard he finds discussing such matters with us? What avenues of help have men who suffer physical and mental abuse in marriages got? Society expects us to stay strong and suffer quietly. The laws and traditions are against us. Probably, that is the reason most men die first in marriages.

People often wonder why a good Christian like Mistari turned bad after marrying Akothe. Mother usually praised his powerful prayers. Mistari no longer attends church. All he does is smoke bhang and drink. That is what happens to a man who marries a trophy wife. Her work is only to squander and bankrupt you when you work hard. Mistari gave Akothe the comfortable life that few people in your country live. He rented a posh house in the high-end side of Murang'a town and took his children to the best academies. He even started a bakery with his brothers and cousins. Unfortunately, Akothe frustrated and chased his brothers away, claiming they were dirty. The bakery business stopped as she kept spending Mistari's dime purchasing designer clothes and expensive shoes. When Dreda and I visited her place, she never wanted us there. She had the nerve to tell us that since she had sent Mistari's brothers away, we, too, should leave. Now that poor Mistari is broke, Akothe calls our mother and father, crying as she narrates Mistari's irresponsibility. What a devil!
We do not know what made Ronny run away. People say he met a sugar mommy and decided to live with her in Mombasa. All they see is sister Sarah and her little daughter. Nobody bothers to ask what motivated Ronny to take such an unexpected move. I have never judged Ronny. I will not judge him today. I will wait until I hear his side of the story.
These quick and wrongful condemnations of men are leading to the rising rates of suicide among married men in your country. This unjustified expectation that we should absorb an immense amount of pressure from women without a word or a sigh is driving us to the gutters. I won't fall for it. That's why I left you all to start a new life.
You all know that Tesa has been a pain in my ass. I have told and hinted at that to you on several occasions. You must have noticed how I have withdrawn from you lately. That's because she never likes it when I talk to you. She claims that sitting with you people makes me less ambitious and lose focus. Some nights, I have to go without supper as punishment for spending time with my brothers. I can't take this anymore. Why does she have to do this to me, yet I let her roam around and spend time with those useless women who only sit around and say vile things about other people? Since she started spending time with them, she has turned into a negative, insatiable hyena. She wants more and more.
I have never come across anybody so insecure as her. I can neither talk to nor have any woman as a friend. Her insecurities made me delete my social media account. She snoops around my phone like a dog, searching for a bone. I was even surprised that she knew my phone's password. That makes her feel like the most intelligent person in the world. She read my messages and replied to them disgracefully. Then she claims that I shame her. She does not know the love and respect I had for her.
Brothers, you know I am always indoors nearly twenty-four hours a day. I only leave to dump our daughter's poop and pee in the lavatory or to have a small chat with you. When do I get to cheat? Tesa had imprisoned me.
Do you know that she stopped Derrick from visiting me? My bosom friend from childhood. We went to the same high school and college and did the same course. She claims Derrick corrupts me. Tesa made me live a secluded life. She neither loves you nor my friends. I could not take it anymore. According to her, nobody is right for me. I fear she might lock me up and kill me someday.
She gives me no privacy. Indeed, everyone deserves some bit of privacy; partners included. When you look for dirt, you will always find it. She read messages from my friend, Pats and became wild. She assaulted me. I had to defend myself. In this age, who understands a man who protects himself from a feline attack? People only see the bruises I gave her. They forget about my finger that she almost ripped apart.
Do you recall when I was playing wrestling with her, and I almost choked her to death accidentally? The nurses declared I was guilty of her condition and that I did choke her intentionally. They pressured her to press charges against me. She did not. But that has been her leeway to blackmail me. I promised not to touch her again. However, my retrieval made her more dominant as she pressed me into her small corner.
Last week, I had to rise again. I had to face my fears and undress this timidity that covered me. When Tesa lashed at me like a hungry lioness, I had to give her a beating that she would never forget. I am not proud of what I did. I wouldn't say I like fights, and this is not the life I wanted.
When I was young, I believed those men who beat their wives were devils in men's form until I found myself doing the same. Tesa provoked me. She attacked me ferociously. It was my life and health at stake. I had to respond. That's why I keep saying, "if you don't know the story, do not judge the book." I left since I didn't want to continue living that violent life. I hope you all understand.
Sincerely,
Moremore.

Orthodontic Appliance

 

 Usually, the teeth of the upper and lower jaws misalign when they close. This occurrence is known as malocclusion.

Malocclusion is not a serious health problem. However, it can present serious craniofacial anomalies characterized by a distorted face and one finding it hard to speak or chew food.

Serious cases of malocclusion are usually corrected using orthodontic treatment. However, a surgical procedure is necessary in severe cases.

Definition Of An Orthodontic Appliance

Orthodontic treatment uses an orthodontic appliance to correct malocclusions. Thus, an orthodontic appliance is a dental gear that applies force on the teeth of the upper and lower jaws to correct a malocclusion.

Types Of Orthodontic Appliances

They are two types of Orthodontic Appliances; active orthodontic appliances and functional orthodontic appliances.

Active Orthodontic Appliances

 

These dental gears apply pressure on the teeth to fix and match with other teeth on the upper and lower jaws. Examples of active appliances are

· Expansion and Labial Segment Alignment Appliance (ELSAA)

· Palatal Expander, Self-ligating Edgewise Appliances

· Begg Lightwire Appliances

· Tip-edge Appliance

· Preadjusted Edgewise Appliances

· Quad Helix

· Tri Helix

· Bi Helix

Functional Orthodontic Appliances

These are dental gears that apply pressure on the upper and lower jaws. They alter the position of the jaws to correct the malocclusion. Examples of functional appliances are

· Orthodontic headgear

· Orthodontic facemask

· Herbst appliance

· Twin block appliance

Recommendation For Orthodontic Treatment

Anybody above the age of eight is eligible for orthodontic treatment. However, orthodontic treatment is more suitable for children than teenagers or adults. Children have soft, pliable bones. Thus, orthodontic appliances work better on children’s teeth and jaws than on teens and adults.

If you suspect or feel that your child needs orthodontic treatment, visit an orthodontist with the child. Orthodontists have the knowledge and experience to determine your child's eligibility for treatment. They also know the most appropriate treatment and appliance options for correcting your child’s malocclusion. Your child's oral health is safe with an orthodontist.   

When Do Children Start Teething

 

Teeth are an essential part of the body, mainly because we all eat to live. Teeth help digest food by slicing, crushing, and grinding it into small pieces, which are further digested by our bodies. Additionally, teeth help us speak well and improve our appearance. Babies, like us, also need teeth at some point in their development to prepare for and adapt to weaning. So, when do babies start teething?

Teething Schedule

Before we discuss when babies start teething, we must first define the term "teething." Teething is the breakthrough or the emergence of an infant's teeth out of the gums. Medically, it is called odontiasis. Teething typically starts when babies are six months old and continue up to their third year of life, where it pauses when all milk teeth have emerged.

The milk teeth, also known as baby teeth, temporary teeth, or primary teeth, are the first teeth people develop during the infant and toddler stages of development. Later, people develop permanent teeth that replace the milk teeth during their school-going and preadolescent stages of development.

Milk teeth are a set of twenty teeth that comprise central and lateral incisors, canines, and first and secondary molars. Usually, they start appearing when babies reach six months old and continue to emerge up to their thirty-third month of life, as mentioned earlier. When children reach the age of six, permanent teeth start replacing our milk teeth. This shedding of milk teeth continues until they reach the age of twelve when permanent teeth replace all or most milk teeth.

Timeline for A Baby’s Teething

Our focus is baby teething. Therefore, our efforts are to understand when each milk teeth emerge, which we now know occurs approximately between the sixth month and third year of life.

Below is an elaborate explanation of the emergence of milk teeth from the first to the last teeth

4-7 months- Lower Central Incisors

Babies usually develop their first teeth between the fourth and seventh months of life. The teeth that grow during this time are a pair of central incisors on the front of their lower jaw.

8-11 months - Upper Central Incisors

The second wave of teeth that a baby develops is a pair of incisors on the front part of the upper jaw. They develop these teeth between their eighth and eleventh month of life.

9-16 months- Lateral Incisors

Babies develop two pairs of lateral incisors between the ninth and the sixteenth month of life. The first pair to grow are the two lateral incisors of the upper jaw. Later, they are followed by the two lateral incisors of the lower jaw.

13-19 months- First Molars

Babies develop their first molars between the ages of one and one and a half years. These first molars usually appear first on the upper jaw of the mouth.

18-23 months- Canines

Babies develop Canines when they reach the ages of one and a half years and two years. One can notice canines by their outstanding sharpness and pointedness.

23- 33 months- Secondary Molars

These are the last teeth to develop in a baby’s jaw. They fill the remaining gaps in the jaw and complete the set of 20 milk teeth that a baby should have. They usually emerge between the second and third years of life.

Teething Signs and Symptoms

Now that we have already learned the timeline for the development of a baby’s milk teeth, you must know how to detect when babies are teething so that you can help soothe the discomfort they experience due to teething. Teething is usually accompanied by specific physical and behavioural signs and symptoms explained below.

Physical Signs of Teething

Drooling

It is the excessive saliva production which unintentionally spills out of a baby’s mouth. It is usually caused by teething in babies, which impairs the control of muscles around the gums by the nerves, resulting in weak muscles, soft gums, and increased salivation.

Mouth Rash/Rosy Skin

Babies usually develop a mouth rash when teething. This rash is caused by the constant wetness of the mouth area due to drooling. The area where a rash is about to develop becomes redder or pinker than usual.

Bulging Gums

Molars usually make the gums bulge when they want to emerge out of the gums. Sometimes they cause fluids to build up around the gum area, which develops into a bluish cyst (swelling). When you notice this occurrence, consider it completely normal. Do not interfere with the bluish cyst.

Mild Fever

Teething makes babies have a slight fever due to the swelling of their gums. However, this fever should not go beyond 101 degrees F. When it passes this limit, you should consult a paediatrician because a high temperature is a symptom of an infection or illness.

Behavioural Signs of Teething

Excessive Biting and Sucking

There comes a time when you notice that your baby is eager and determined to bite everything they come across. Whenever you carry the baby, she struggles to get hold of your fingers, pull them towards her mouth, and bite them.

Moreover, when the baby sits alone, she pulls anything around her towards her mouth for a bite. This behaviour is a perfect sign of teething. It occurs because emerging teeth exert pressure on the gums, which irritates them. Babies react to this irritation by biting and sucking a lot to help relieve gum irritation.

Ear Pulling

Sore gums, which occur due to teething, make babies pull their ears to divert or relieve pain. However, you should note that ear pulling is not a primary symptom of teething. When it occurs, you should also investigate other signs of teething to verify if teething is the primary cause of your baby pulling her ear.

If other signs of teething do not accompany ear pulling, then the baby may be doing it out of curiosity, or it could be a sign of an ear infection. You should always visit a paediatrician to confirm the cause of a baby pulling her ears.

Irritability and A Lot of Crying

Teething is usually more active at night than daytime. Therefore, when babies cry a lot in the evening and night than during the day, it is a sign that they are teething.

Moreover, when they cry, and you find it hard to comfort and please them, it indicates they are teething. However, you must ensure that other teething signs support this sign because a lot of crying may also suggest that the baby has an accumulation of gas, colic, or an infection.

Changes in The Style of Feeding

Gums that have swollen due to teething are usually painful. Therefore, babies tend to avoid anything that touches and irritates these gums. As a result, they may reject being fed with a spoon or fork, which irritates the gums and accept bottle-feeding or nursing that does not hurt their gums.

However, in situations where gums are not painful but are irritated by the pressure from the teeth that want to come out, children prefer being fed with a fork, spoons, and other utensils to nursing. They prefer bottle-feeding to nursing because sucking the bottle puts pressure on their gums, which counters the force from emerging teeth. This process relieves irritation caused by the pressure of the emerging teeth.

A Change in Sleeping Pattern

Since teething occurs mainly at night, babies are usually woken up by the process. Babies that generally sleep peacefully at night may start waking up and crying a lot because teething disrupts their nap. It even makes them fussy. When sleep disruptions become common, you should know that the baby is teething.

Caring for Teething Babies

Now that you know how to detect when babies are teething, you need to know what to do to help them go through the process smoothly.

Massage Your Baby’s Gums

The pressure of emerging teeth usually creates discomfort in the gums. One way of relieving this discomfort is by countering the pressure through massage. Make sure you wash your hands with soap and rinse before massaging your baby's gums. Use one or two fingers to perform the massage by pressing and rubbing your baby’s gums gently in a circular motion.

Massage Your Baby’s Gums with A Cold Wash Cloth

Take a clean unscented washcloth. Please place it in cold water, then remove and wring it. Wipe any drool around the baby’s mouth, then open it gently and massage and wipe her gums by pressing the cold cloth on them gums. Besides improving the massage experience, the cold towel clears bacterial build around the baby's gums.

Buy A Teething Toy for Your Baby

Toys, such as rubber teething rings, are available in baby stores. You need to purchase them for your baby so that they bite them to relieve the discomfort caused by emerging teeth.

Additionally, you can create a teething toy by tying a clean, moist cloth around a utensil, such as a spoon. Place this improvised wet teething toy in a refrigerator to cool it, then give it to the baby to bite.

Give the Baby A Pain Reliever

Teething babies older than six months can take baby-formulated pain relievers, especially ibuprofen or acetaminophen. Make sure you follow the dosage instructions on the package of the medicines. Infants who have not attained the age of six months should never be given pain relievers unless recommended by a paediatrician.