Give Me Feedback

 David sat on his sofa. Even though the cushions were made of a highly dense mattress, they felt hard, like a plain hardwood bench. He had been doing the same thing for several days; waking up early every morning, observing his phone and the email inbox painfully. He had done an interview a few days ago and was very hopeful that this much-needed job opportunity would be the breakthrough in his life. He was tired of living on dregs and crumbs. He needed change in his life. 

 

 The interview had gone well, at least, according to him. He had left the panel amazed and in awe. He had gathered a lot of writing, media, and literature knowledge that made him suitable for a writer or editor position in any reputable organization. However, the call was not coming.

 

 In the past few days, he had made several calls to the interviewer. The receptionist kept telling him that the HR manager would call him. He desperately wanted to speak to the hiring manager. He wondered why he had to pass through the unbreachable barrier of the receptionist to reach the HR manager. The receptionist adamantly refused to let him speak to the HR manager. It was out of a will or a directive from the hiring manager.

 

 David’s life had stopped. He felt the organization was mulling over giving him feedback, which placed an unwarranted burden of expectation or hopes on him. “Usually, feedback for an interview is normally given a few hours after the end of the session," he thought. "If the organization dreadfully needed a person to fill that position, they must have communicated by now to the chosen person,” he continued. “However, why should they make other people who did not pass the interview wait?” David wondered. “This is torture,” he murmured. 

 

 Opportunities were rare. David was not in the habit of wasting them. That Tuesday evening, when the organization called him for the interview found when he was cleaning his house. He had no money. The call came as a surprise. It also carried a lot of demands. He quickly needed to mobilize funds to facilitate the attendance of the interview. First, he asked the HR manager to try and postpone the interview for another day. The one-day notice for the interview was short. His request fell on deaf ears. Thus, he embarked on seeking instant soft loans from friends and relatives.

 

 Fortunately, David raised the money. On the long-distance highway to Nairobi, he boarded the Easy Coach bus at ten and travelled with other passengers on the cold and shivery night. After seven hours of sitting, fidgeting, and stretching, they arrived at the Easy Coach waiting lounge in the misty Nairobi morning. His mouth was smoking cold breath. David cursed his memory for failing to remind him to wear a hood. The warm weather of Kisumu made him unaccustomed to dress codes involving hoods and jumpers. It was normal for him to forget these heavy attires. 

 

 He spent one hour at the lounge, which seemed like a day, waiting for Pauline, his cousin, to pick him up. Watching the boring channel on TV and passengers sleeping beside him made him feel awful. That place resembled the refugee camps he had seen in Italy on Al-Jazeera. He could not wait to leave there. Fortunately, Pauline arrived to pick him up by six. 

 

 Everything went well that day. The interview was good and left David very hopeful. That evening passed without David getting a call from the interviewer. This situation was understandable since the interview had been conducted that afternoon. It ended very late. It was too soon to get results. Therefore, he slept peacefully. 

 

 David had planned to visit his sister in Machakos the following day. It was over a year since he last saw her at their grandmother’s funeral in Migori. It was customary to pay courtesy calls to close relatives. Such calls depicted the love, care, and concern one had for the family. He scheduled that visit at around midday the following day. 

 

 David woke up around seven that Thursday morning. He found that his beloved spouse had called him twice. David knew what was troubling her. He called back. When she received the call, her first question was, “Dear, when are you coming back?” 

 

 He hated such questions after attending interviews. David despised the pessimism that accompanied such questions. They hugely suggested that organizations merely conducted interviews as formalities and were designed to fail people, which in his case, were nearly facts. He believed Caro felt his time in Nairobi was over after another formal and failed interview.

 

 He momentarily sat on his aunt's couch, staring blankly at the African gospel-music YouTube channel Pauline selected to entertain him. This song kept playing in his subconscious:

 

 “Sitabaki kama nilivyoooo” (I will never be the same) 

 

 He thought about how much music had been created to give people hope in the last few years. Prosperity gospel had taken centre stage in the teachings of most churches. Many people had turned to God, hoping their lives would get better. 

 

 David closed his eyes as tears welled up his eyes and murmured, "God I am sinner, but why punish me so much. Some people are even greater sinners than me. They live better and do not know trouble. Why me, Lord? Why me, Lord?" he finished and opened his eyes.

 

He spent that morning staring at his phone every five seconds. Time passed. There was no call except from his father, who repeated Caro's question, "when are you travelling back to Kisumu?" His hopes of ever getting positive feedback started dwindling tremendously. Later, he packed his bags and left for Machakos.

 

 After spending a night in Machakos, David left early in the morning for Kisumu. He arrived on a Friday to a warm welcome from his wife and ailing daughter, who had missed so much that she became sick. The love and smiles of the family were enough to liven his beaten heart. He kissed his ladies softly and promised to toughen up the following day. 

 

 Keeping this promise became hard. Days passed without David getting a response from the interviewer. He grew anxious and agitated. His desire to know the result of the interview so that he could kick start his life once again overwhelmed him. 

 

 He recalled the 2018 hit Indian movie titled Padmaavati. This religious Guru tests Padmaavati by asking her, “what is the hardest moment in a person’s life?” She replies, “waiting for results after a test.” Now, more than ever, David concurred with Padmaavati. 

 

 He recalled seven years ago as an intern at the Ugunja Sub-county Public Health office. His supervisor had once told him, "feedback is the breakfast of champions", when he failed to report to her one evening. Now he had learned the importance of feedback and promised never to delay giving it.